Tales of the Tunnel - continued

The 33rd Street train descended deeper and deeper into the bowels of the Earth. After leaving Pavonia-Newport it slowed, then stopped, deep beneath the Hudson. It was ready to negotiate the switches that would send it to 33rd Street.

As I dozed, into my sleep-deprived awareness burst a fart; an epic, godawful fart, a product of beer, onion soup, broccoli, brussel sprouts and the like. There was no noise - this was a threep, an SBD, a noiseless fart. This miasma of hell spread throughout the stopped car.

The sheep grew restless, wanting to panic and run away, but not knowing which way to run. It was too crowded in the herd to run, anyway. Their eyes began to roll back and forth, trying to sense the wolf who unleashed this on them. But they could not find it.

Suddenly they stirred in a peculiar way, seeming to shrink in on themselves. They appeared as if each one now wanted to shrink into a volumetric singularity, pop, and disappear.

The train began to move slowly, screeching and grinding its way through switches, picking up speed. As it did, the air conditioners did a miracle that the Catholic church would be proud to have witnessed. The fart slowly faded and disappeared, just in time to pull into Christopher Street with everyone alive. There was no indication of the death train it could have been, with souls fleeing through the windows.

Update - Sheep back in the fold

PATH trains working

• Full of sheep
• Cool between stations
• Smelly and hot in stations
• Worked all the way to Newark
• No swimming pools
• No good-looking women
• No new wives

Flash - New York Soaking - PATH Swamped - Bigamy Occurs

Rain, lightning, thunder this afternoon in the city. Got to PATH soaked, took the train to Journal Square. Bad news imminent - we arrived at the wrong platform! Listened to a mumbling conductor about service to Newark completely shut down - bad signals. He mumbled more about going up to the bus area. Beat it up there to see none. Soon there was a multitude - wall to wall peeps lining the sidewalk and sticking out in the road.

Buses arrive, but park a long way away on the opposite side of the concourse. People go over and inquire, but are refused. One labelled Newark edges over to us and stops - people are out in the road, it can't move. It edges closer and closer. People are yelling "Stop here. Stop right here!" The cops tell us "This happened last week. We have enough buses. More are coming, please don't hurt yourselves." The doors open and the sheep pack in toward the door. The sheep are shoving, but in a cheerful way, if that is possible.

I trip over unseen feet. A black lady in a caftan shouts to people "Don't push. Please be careful." She sees me trip and grabs my arm, asking "Are you OK, sir?" I say "Yes, just feet." and we get back to getting closer to the door. She is right behind, and as I get to the bus I grab her arm and tell her "We're married now!" I edge up to the step with her arm draped over my shoulder and a guy tries to wedge in. I yell at him, "Let my wife on!" and he subsides. We get on; I motion to her to sit next to me, but no, the very short second marriage is over. She has friends to sit with.

A really good-looking young black girl is standing up in the aisle. She has a great face and really short hair, a combination I enjoy. She is a bit pudgy, but it could be overlooked. I think maybe a third marriage, since the second did not work out. Alas, it was not to be!

The bus starts to inch forward. All of a sudden the good-looking girl is growling, "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" Another woman behind her has a REALLY big purse with an umbrella handle poking out. The umbrella handle is poking the good-looking girl in the butt. Things subside. The big purse lady glances over at me and we both get big grins on our faces.

The bus inches and inches. It goes a foot or maybe two at a time, then brakes screech and groan. Once it starts to get a bit of momentum, then the driver jams on his brakes. The good looking girl goes down against a Mexican guy. We all grab her so she doesn't get hurt, and she shouts out "I'm all right. I'm OK!"

More inching. It's warm in there, all armpits, assholes, and elbows. The bus is packed! We come to a swamp, at least 3-4 feet deep. It used to be called an intersection, but now they could rent boats. People are still trying to inch through. Some cars are dead, right in the middle of the road, people still in them. The bus finally picks up speed after it leaves the swamp. Just another 15 minutes and the New York sheep are safely at Newark Penn Station with an hour lost to something different.

Google Maps My Location scam

You must need to be in California to have the new My Location feature be accurate. That is where most of the pundits are who were able to find themselves without feeling for their own asses. Over the last week My Location placed me in the following:

1. San Francisco Bay area
2. Chicago
3. Austin
4. Los Angeles

All of this while at home in New Jersey, using the same PC. I take great comfort that both Google Chrome and Firefox are consistent in finding me in the same, wrong place. WTF? There seems to be no way to fix and/or enter a location. Not sure what crowd sourcing means, but apparently it DOES NOT mean either providing any value to the crowd or letting the crowd make manual contributions...

BTW, the "Geolocation API" does not seem to be able to sense when a GPS sensor is connected to a laptop, either. Go figure. Perhaps it is a bit much to expect that a GPS would be useful in providing a location? Sometimes the combination of arrogance and shortsightedness in delivery make the news seem pretty silly.

Beautiful evening in Watkins Glen, etc.

We ended up in Trumansburg again last weekend. The purpose of the trip was to see a long-lost high school, college, and rugby friend and his wife. But first we had dinner with Dad and his friend Hope over in Watkins Glen at the Glen Motor Inn. This is an old fixture in very nice shape, with a spectacular view of Seneca Lake from the dining room. It was a typical evening in the Finger Lakes, with puffy cumulus clouds covering a significant part of the sky.

Dad (88 years old) and Hope (a bit younger) were in fine fettle. They certainly know how to enjoy themselves. They are just as active as I was at the age of 20. The go to dinners, concerts, dances, to the lake, and more. Last time we were there, we all went to a winery for a musical evening.

As we finished dinner and left for the car, the evening was getting dark. Lights from Watkins Glen showed up nicely against the fading glow from sunset.

The next day we caught up with Tim and Mindy, Tim's Mom, and various players from the past. It was a beautiful site in Reynoldsville, New York, with a pond, rock gardens, and a place to cook and picnic. It had been about 20 years since I had seen some of these people. Some Esther had met just once. Some new folk were there, too. We both left thinking what a nice extended family this was. They got along well, celebrating, traveling, eating, and partying together. Glad I got to see them.

The 4th belated

We hadn't been up to see Dad and the family in a while, so we packed up and drove up Route 81 to Trumansburg, New York. On Saturday we went over to a local winery (Buttonwood Grove) to listen to music and relax a bit.

It wasn't big, but it was quite picturesque, and had beautiful grounds. The view included Cayuga Lake, one of the two largest Finger Lakes. It is close to 40 miles long and up to 3.5 miles wide in places.

There was a lovely pond on site, as well as some small cabins for rent.

The place had gorgeous gardens, at their summer time peak even though the temperatures were quite cool.

Lots of families showed up to listen, dance, drink wine, and enjoy the evening. We brought our own chairs and sat with Dad's friend's family.

They have some working dogs that were to be in a water competition later that weekend. Good looking doggers!

The music of the evening was Zydeco, provided by a local band. Don't ask me how Zydeco got to upstate New York.

The guy that caught my eye all evening was the one playing the washboard. He was dancing and grimacing and really getting into the music all night.

Some of the crowd was dancing. Dad and his friend even took a turn. We didn't know this couple. They were doing a good job, though.

The weather in central New York can be quite fickle. Shortly after this picture was taken the flowers and the crowd got very wet very quickly. Everybody disbanded and drove away.

Working in Manhattan

I have been working in Manhattan at the Public Health Laboratory for a while. Along the way to and from work via the PATH train I have been passing through Madison Park. This is a really beautiful park with something for everyone. On a good day it is full of kids, Moms, grandmas, passers-through, dogs, and music. It is located at 23rd Street next to Broadway.

I passed through quite a few times before I noticed that I was walking by the Flatiron Building without ever seeing it. This is a really remarkable piece of architecture with a triangular shape. It's a fairly famous landmark. It is right across the street from the park. Every time I pass I see people taking pictures.

So I thought I would add a couple of my own. It appears quite a bit in the movies and other media. If you are interested, take a look at Wikipedia.

The pointy end offices are apparently much sought-after.

McDonald's conspiracy debunked

Well, I gave in and tried out the coffee at the local McD's. It was great! I am guessing that some of the others did one of the following:

1. bought crap coffee
2. skimped on the amount
3. something else nefarious

Anyway, the supposed conspiracy is off.

Uncle Lloyd Places the Parsley Poultice

Went to visit Dad this last weekend. Traffic was a nightmare. Route 81 was down to one lane in several places. Anyway, while we were there it was great to see Uncle Lloyd again. He is a geezer with a wicked ability to tell you something completely full of shit without busting a grin. That's him on the right.

Well, as geezers do, Lloyd had a health problem. He had a couple of bruises on his arm that never went away. A visit to the doctor produced no answer. A chance meeting produced the parsley poultice. It's very simple, grind up parsley and apply it as a poultice. Lloyd tried it out for a couple of days, and the bruise faded quite a bit. Not all the way, though, as the results were only "parsley" successful.

Thanks for playing; have a nice day; more later.